In Saudi Arabia, women before the time of marriage are always told to fulfill all their desires because they don't know whether they'll be able to enjoy their life as they wanted to. Women always admit to the fact that their home will always be their home and their new home will somehow always be their husband's home. Before marriage “the soon to be bride” is loved and adored all the more especially by her mother. She somehow indirectly tries to tell her that you won't be getting all this affection and love later on. After marriage her life will become busy and more difficult. She'll have her own family to take care off. Even before the new bride can begin to start her new family she must cater and handle her husband's family-mainly her MOTHER-IN-LAW!
I never really knew the actual difference between ‘Mother’ and ‘Mother-in-law. I was a bit too dumb to think that Mother in laws is mothers who become lawyers. It was about a few years that I asked my mother what is a Mother in Law when she told me that she's the husband's mother. When I asked her whether she was talking about my Grandmother she just looked at me and smiled. She said that she has never considered her as one, instead only as a Mother. I have always seen my mom love and care for my grandmother extensively. She has made sure that she remains obedient to her and keeps her happy. Although we don't live with our grandmother whenever we visit her or if she comes to spend the weekend my mother makes sure that we do not bother her or she doesn't feel unwelcomed. I have seen my mother take care of her when she's been admitted in the hospital. I have seen her take care of her little things as well.
I sometimes wonder why my mother would do so much for her mother in law. From what I have observed is that respect is gained by first giving respect. My grandmother has four daughters in law with my mother being the oldest one. For eighteen years, my mother has somehow been able to keep her happy and the reason being is that my grandmother did not become a typical mother in law. She chose and sided with her on decisions she thought were right. My grandmother has always loved her equally back and given her full attention. I have never seen a difference in the way my grandmother treats my aunts and my mother. What I truly think and believe is that the society and its attitude towards this relation have caused so much difficulty within it. Why is that daughter in laws had to backbite about their mother in laws? Why is that mother in laws wanted to get rid of their daughter in laws? It's an honest fact. Many women tend to love and shower their blessings on “to the soon to be daughter in law”. However after marriage their attitude somehow changes. Either the bride doesn't seem the way she used to before or suddenly everything seems to slip away and Mother in Law brings home a catastrophe.
Whatever the reason being I truly think and believe that you may be treated well or treated poorly depending all upon how you treat them! If you treat them right it's probably a good investment for you only for your future. Being on good terms with your family especially your husband's family can help you get through so much of the trouble later on. If you can keep your mother in law happy and somehow give her the respect you would give to your own mother sooner or later you can eliminate the law from Mother. Things can fall better in to place. Things can become a lot for easier and simpler. A little love can do the trick!