You may be wondering whether there is even a book about Parenting, yet alone STEP parenting. Actually there is no such book. At least I am not aware of that. Today my basic aim was to bring the very important topic into highlight that can be a huge question for those women basically who are second wives and now are taking care of their husband’s children in Saudi Arabia. All of us know about the polygamy practice in Saudi Arabia. Many times children have to live with the second wife of the father or second husband of the mother. I think it is very important to know well about Step Parenting to groom up the children in a better way.
Give Time to Step Children
The first important thing about building a bond with your husband’s children is the time. By time, I don't mean to spend time but to give them time. Bringing home a woman and calling them your mom becomes extremely difficult for the children. A mother is one of the closest people to children and giving that place to another woman is not acceptable all the time. Especially when you don't know what their mother have actually gone through. In most cases if the mother passes away it becomes more the hard for the children to accept a woman who is here to take her place. They will never accept that and maybe (as in usual cases) revolt to the situation. Here all the Step Mom can do is give the children time to accept the situation and give them time to accept her most importantly. Only then there can be some hope for a good understanding between them.
Try to understand children according to Age Group
The second important factor that should be considered is what age group the children belong to. For example young ones are easier to handle. They can be easily taught and bridged with through love and care. A young one is all really in seek of love and care. If a woman can provide that the child will look upon her as a motherly figure only. The bigger challenge is to bridge with older children who are near their teens. At that point they are not only going through hormonal imbalances but now they will be getting familiar to new situations. The most important factor that may cross their brain several times is whether the rules around the house will change. Usually they have been brought up watching Cinderella and other fairy tales where the step mother is the bad witch who will treat the step children. They think every step mother will act that way however that is not the case. Here the step mother must approach the children very carefully. She must let them be aware of the fact that she by no means here to replace their mother but be someone who can they rely and confide in.
Do not Force Relationship
Thirdly and most importantly is that the step mother should never FORCE the relationship. In most cases I've observed that step mothers bridge gaps by buying their children gifts and giving them leniency over a lot of things which turns up to be a danger step in the lines of parenting. Time and patience can do miracles. Forcing and forging gifts and presents may make the children like the step mom for a time being but they will never be able to respect her. What would be the good in that?
Parenting is a very difficult subject. In fact there is no such subject. It just comes with time, communication, love, consideration and care. That's all that really matters to change the situations from good to worse and worse to good!
- Young Girls Marrying to Old Uncles in KSA
- What should a couple discuss before Marriage?
- Two Three Marriages – A Real Fear for Saudi Wives
- Polygamy Practice in Saudi Arabia