Wednesday, 5 August 2015

Useful Tips to become Miserable Expat in Saudi Arabia

We have all met them, heard of them or just seen them. Grumpy, ignorant and arrogant; they focus on the negative aspects and want everybody to be like them. The question arises, how does one reach this level of grumpiness? Some expatriates who are residing in the Kingdom are programmed to become miserable and grumpy, but the other expats might need some tutoring on the subject. Here is a guide to achieve the higher state of grumpiness which can be found in a lot of expatriates in Saudi Arabia. This guide will require practice, determination and patience but will eventually make you as grumpy as you have never been before.

Useful Tips to become Miserable Expat in Saudi Arabia
  1. Do no research about the country you are going to work in; don’t even think about finding out about the religion. This can get you into a lot of trouble as everyone knows that the religion is based on extremism, and oppression against women. The best place to get knowledge about the country will be through the already miserable veteran expats who have been staying here since forever and have obtained great expertise on this topic.

  2. As soon as you reach your destination inside the Kingdom, it is best to express your discontent of the local people to them directly. Adding in long stares to everyone around you will definitely help your case. Relocation and orientation programs aren’t for you; they are for those who actually plan on enjoying their experience in the Kingdom.
  3. Most definitely an expat should stay in a compound. The No-Saudi rule, all the other expat women that are living without their Abayas and a general western atmosphere in the compounds will make you forget that you are actually in the Kingdom. Rather than getting familiarized with the locals and their lifestyle is a big no-no and one should only venture outside the compound if it is absolutely necessary.
  4. If you are not on social media, it is best to do so. This is because then you will be able to show off your new lifestyle to everyone back home.
  5. This is for the non-Muslim expats. Start drinking, if you don’t already. There is no better hobby to add to misery than drinking alone. The embassies have real good parties and you can also go party hopping instead of bar hopping. It is best to repeat the previous point while enjoying your drink.
  6. If you are a female, it is vital that you nag about the Abaya as frequently as you can. Men can also complain about the fact that they are not allowed to wear Bermuda shorts inside malls and not being able to make fun of the locals by using terms such as Rag head or towel head.
  7. It is vital that you socialize with expats form your own country only. However it is wise to choose your friends wisely as people are often suspicious in their activities.
  8. If you think one of your co workers is more attractive to you and is doing better at work, it is best to immediately start negative rumors about the person in the compound or workplace.
  9. Following all or any of the above mentioned tips would help you to be detained, jailed and in some cases deported with permanent ban. Follow the above mentioned instructions if you really want to spend some time in Jail or detention center.

Source: Blue Abaya

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