Friday, April 29, 2016

5 reasons, Women deserve more Domestic Rights than Men

One of our regular readers Ms. Laurel Malek has commented it under the article “Protecting the Rights of Men in Saudi Arabia”. I think her thoughts and comment is worth sharing with you. Laurel Malek: I support this as well. Even in the US, a very liberal country, there is still a stigma against men coming forward and speaking about being abused, by either men or women. However, I also agree with the commenter Blade Johnson in that the reason this stigma exists is because of a system that men have promoted. In most societies, conservative or liberal, it is mostly the men who make the laws, rules and regulations regarding social and civil behavior. So while there is room to blame the abusers, one must remember that the system that allows such abuse to continue is one perpetuated by men. A smarter approach to this situation would instead be to speak to your fellow brothers, particularly the leaders in their community, about making it easier for men to report abuse, by either men or women, without the fear of stigmatization and ostracization.

  1. In addition, I have to disagree with the writer when he suggests that men have no recourse, or that women can never be affected as badly as men. As a survivor of domestic abuse, even living in a liberal country, I learned firsthand how difficult and sometimes impossible it is for women to escape an abusive situation. The fact remains, that despite any stigma a man may face, he is free to leave his family at any single moment in his life. That is because as a man, he has full control and access to any resource that may help him leave. As a woman, and as many other women in an abusive situation find out however, we do not have such easy access to similar resources.
  2. I had no money of my own, I did not know how to drive, I had a very young baby in tow and I was far away from any family. I was literally stuck in a situation I had no means of escaping. And the idea that a woman should not make as much money as a man, should not have equal access to it, should not learn how to drive, and should stick by her husband for the sake of her children despite any abuse, is a system perpetuated by men. Add to that the fact that as a woman I faced the stigma of breaking up the marriage, of provoking my husband into abusing me, of burdening my parents if I left him, and of opening up my child to being called names because I chose to leave, and you start to realize that there is no comparison.
  3. As abused as a man may be, at the very least he has the resources to leave, most women do not. I was fortunate enough to have someone who took me and my baby in. But we've all heard the horror stories of young girls, sold into an abusive marriage, who have tried to escape only to be told to go back because they will be a burden to their families. I strongly doubt most men have ever felt that kind of hopelessness. Also, the argument that because in a few cooking shows most of the cooks are men, or that some women tend to focus too much on their decorations instead of their education, and that said behavior is indicative that most women are materialistic, is specious at best.
  4. For this I would very strongly suggest that the writer actually speak and interact with more women in the real world, particularly those of us who have also been abused and have a college education, about what life is really like for women. Making broad assumptions about women based on a few TV shows and how we decorate our homes is extremely ignorant and absurd. Even worse, assuming that because some women are like that, that said behavior justifies their abuse, is even more ignorant and dangerous.
  5. No one deserves to be abused, not even a criminal. Allah gave us the Koran so that we may be civilized and act accordingly. To assume that anyone deserves to be abused because of less than ideal behavior is quite an insult to all of our ancestors who fought and died upholding the lessons of the Koran. Even to us Muslims in the US who try to uphold those lessons in the face of increasing stigma and discrimination. For the record, I love decorating my home because as a woman it is the place I spend the most time in. Those decorations include two large bookshelves full of books that cover subjects from healthy eating to Quantum Physics.
Working Women of Saudi Arabia
  1. Protecting the Rights of Men in Saudi Arabia
  2. Saudi Women are allowed to work in Airline Catering
  3. A woman cannot rent a house in Saudi Arabia?
  4. Why women unemployment is 32% when male unemployment is 6% in Saudi Arabia?
  5. Who is better in the Kingdom? A Saudi woman or a female expat?


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